


sonder

by wonhee



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Is this even fluff?, M/M, Smut, Violence, i still can't write summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 11:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15218288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhee/pseuds/wonhee
Summary: Was Hoseok the monster? Or was it Kihyun?or simplya mob boss kiho au





	sonder

**P R E S E N T**

“So. You’re the one that has the so called king of the underworld wrapped around his pinkie finger huh?”

Kihyun sighed, wincing as a splash of his blood trickled from his forehead into his mouth. He couldn’t identify where they were; the room was painted a stark white, with one light dangling from the ceiling. Besides the chair he was currently sat and tied to, no other object was in the room. Surrounding him were 3 men, each masked and armed.

“God, you’re gonna be so fucked when he gets here. Especially after he sees the mess you’ve made on my face. You wouldn’t know of course, but he prefers my face blood free.” Kihyun answered. One of the men laughed, rushing forward and delivering a blow to Kihyun’s jaw. Kihyun gasped, eyes rolling as the pain came crashing through. His head throbbed and his eyes stung, the stupid light wasn’t making it any better.

“I’m sure he prefers your tongue still intact too. If you don’t shut the hell up I’ll personally rip it out of your mouth.” The man threatened, eyes burning through the ski mask.

“Boss, he should be here by now.” Another said and Kihyun raised an eyebrow, smile flittering to his lips.

“Your daddy don’t care as much about you as we thought.” The ‘Boss’ stated, turning to Kihyun. Kihyun shrugged, eyes going over to the single door that the room held.

“Good luck.” He stated.

Moments later, the door blew open, flying off its hinges and crashing on to a wall. Kihyun smiled as dozens of guards poured into the room, guns blazing and pointed at the 3 men. In the middle, black suit dazzling underneath the harsh light, Hoseok stood. Confident and cocky as always. He loosened his tie and walked forward, straight to Kihyun.

“Your face.” He stated, reaching forward to caress Kihyun’s cheek. His eyes looked sad as he took out his handkerchief, lightly brushing the blood away.

“I still look good though?” Kihyun joked and Hoseok laughed, reaching behind him to untie his hands and then untying his legs.

“As always.” He whispered, planting a delicate kiss on to Kihyun’s lips. He stood up, helping Kihyun to his feet before turning around and glancing at all three men.

“Which one of them hurt you the most?” Hoseok asked, hand gripping at Kihyun’s waist and holding him close.

“One with the red shoes.”

“Close your eyes babe.”

Kihyun barely had time to do so before he heard the rapid fire of a gun. Hands shaking, he reached up to cover his ears as the sound raged on around him. Finally, it stopped and he felt warm hands gently caressing his hair. Kihyun opened his eyes, nausea filling up his stomach as he observed the scene around him. All three of the men were dead, blood painting the white room red. Kihyun would have found it artistic were it not for the rush of sudden illness he felt. He risked looking at the man with the red shoes, and as expected he was the worst of them all. Right leg twisted in a way that shouldn’t have been possible, body slashed in various places and his neck; oh god his neck. A deep gash ran through it, wound spilling a river of blood and his eyes were open, staring right at Kihyun.

Hoseok’s guards stood to the side, head bowed and awaiting orders, their faces betraying no emotions. Kihyun wished he could be like that, stoic and unaffected by it all. He _should_ have been like that.

“You okay?” Hoseok asked, eyes worried as he stared down at Kihyun.

“Let’s- let’s just go.” Kihyun answered, pushing past Hoseok and rushing out of the room. His head still throbbed and his jaw hurt. His wrists would probably bruise from the rope used to tie them and he couldn’t get the image out of his head; the blood, the gash on the man’s neck. The fact that it was _Hoseok_ who had done that.

His eyes finally adjusted to the sunlight and Kihyun looked around. They were in a remote location, greenery stretched out for miles and miles; with no indication of human activity anywhere. He turned back to look at the place he was locked up in for hours; what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse, no sign or logo to give away who owned it. Such a remote place, and yet. Hoseok found him. Like he always did.

“I’m sorry.”

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and he sighed as Hoseok rested his chin on his shoulder. “He hurt you and that was all I could think of.”

“I should be used to it by now.” Kihyun replied, even as the image came flooding back, refusing to detach itself from Kihyun’s mind.

“No, you shouldn’t. This life; killing and fighting and the danger, it’s my life. It’s what I chose. You, you shouldn’t have to be used to it.”

“It’s also what I chose, Hoseok. You told me who you are and what you do before I started to date you.” Kihyun reminded and he felt Hoseok smile.

“And you still chose to be with me.”

“I did. I just- I have to get better at this. I can’t keep being this liability to you, getting kidnapped, you coming to save me. I can’t keep being a reason that you might die.”

Hoseok stepped away, turning Kihyun around to face him. “You’re not a liability. If there’s one thing you _should_ know, it’s that. I don’t expect you to know how to hold a gun or to kill people. That’s my thing, it’s what I’ve been trained to do since I could walk. You, Kihyun. You’re an artist. You paint and you draw, and you’re damn good at it. I won’t ever take that away from you. Let me come and save you every single time. Let _me_ get my hands dirty.”

“But what if-” Kihyun didn’t want to finish that train of thought, heart hammering even thinking about it. What if Hoseok was late one day? What if he couldn’t track down Kihyun and his many enemies decided that keeping Kihyun was too much trouble? What if they killed Kihyun just to get a rise out of Hoseok?

“I’d never let that happen.” Hoseok stated as if he read Kihyun’s mind. Kihyun looked beyond him, back to the warehouse where his men were filing out, three body bags carried between them. He turned back to Hoseok, feeling that wave of nausea rise up again.

“Let’s go home. Please.” He said.

He hated that Hoseok looked sad as he took his hand and led him to the car. Hated even more that he inflicted that sadness on him. He allowed himself to be guided inside the car, blanket placed on him as Hoseok climbed in afterwards. He shifted until he could rest peacefully on Hoseok’s shoulder, eyes closing and heart still pounding.

“I should have never gotten you involved with my life.” Hoseok spoke after a while and Kihyun reached to take his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’ve regretted a lot of things over the past two years Hoseok.” Kihyun admitted, looking up at him. “But choosing to be with you despite knowing who you are isn’t one of them.”

“I’m sorry.” Hoseok repeated.

“I know.”

Kihyun closed his eyes, shivering slightly as the imagery of the men came back. The man next to him, the man he had been with for 2 years was the cause of that, of all the blood spilled and the death of all of them. He was ruthless, and cold when he needed to be. He killed without thought and consequence nor did he care about the families or friends of those he killed. He’d killed innocents before, blazing through their homes like an inferno and destroying everyone in his paths. He’d taken money forcefully from those who didn’t have money to spare and kidnapped children to force their parents to bow down to him. He’d done all that and more, and despite it all. Kihyun chose to love him, to be with him.

Was Hoseok the monster? Or was it Kihyun?

 

**P A S T**

Kihyun paused to draw breath, knuckles turning white as he grasped his pencil. People bustled around him, in a rush to get to their destinations, eyes staring straight forward as they walked, each lost in their own thoughts. A mother would walk by, chastising her child for walking too slowly, a man passed next, shouting rapidly at whoever was at the receiving end of the phone call he was having. Kihyun loved this time of year, where the leaves started to turn brown, golden, orange, gently falling from the branches of the trees they once occupied. He loved the inspiration he garnered from it, how putting pencil to paper and producing art seemed to become easier during autumn.

Yes, he loved the inspiration. But the cold? Not so much.

Glancing down at the drawing he had stopped, he shivered, drawing his knees close to his chest, cold rattling him to the core. He had managed to find a nice alley after a while, it had a used couch someone must have chucked away thinking it to be useless. Not for Kihyun though, for him that was his bed, the comfiest place he had to sleep in a while. Regardless of how cold it got at night or the paranoia he felt to be sleeping in such an open space, the couch was big enough and soft enough that he didn’t wake up feeling exhausted or in pain.

He watched as a child stopped her mother, finger pointing towards Kihyun’s direction.

“Mum that man is creepy looking!” the child accused, glaring at Kihyun slightly.

Her mother sighed, sending Kihyun a dirty look and promptly dragging her child away from the alley.

“Creepy looking.” Kihyun muttered, chuckling slightly. That wasn’t the worst he’d ever gotten. Standing up from his couch, he walked towards the alley’s opening, leaning against the brick wall and waiting for the first rich person he could find. Sketch pad ready, he glanced side to side, not willing to let any opportunity he could find go. He perked up as a sleek black car pulled up along the curb, driver getting out and opening the back door.

A tall man emerged, dressed in what was definitely a bespoke suit; navy blue and fitted so that every single feature of the man seemed accentuated. The man’s hair, a soft black, was slicked back and tied into a little bun. He was clean shaven, cheekbones prominent and brown eyes soft as he thanked his driver. Kihyun watched as he walked up the steps of a nearby building, wallet dropping out of his back pocket. He didn’t seem to notice, and neither did his driver as he continued on his way.

Kihyun dashed, weaving through the people and cutting over to the other side and swiftly picking up the wallet. He opened it slightly, eyes bulging at the 100 notes he found stacked inside, alongside multiple credit cards and an ID. He took it out, reading the name underneath the man’s picture. Mr Lee Hoseok. He glanced up at the building Mr Lee walked into, and at the security guards lined up at the front who would take one look at Kihyun’s tattered clothes, and laugh him away if he tried entering the building.

Sighing, Kihyun perched down on a nearby bench, wallet secure next to him.

The sun was finally starting to go down when Mr Lee finally emerged from the building, face pulled into a scowl as he barked orders at his driver. Kihyun stood up immediately, running towards him and stopping in front of his car. He resisted grinning as a flash of shock crossed Mr Lee’s face.

“We have no money to give you.” His driver, a thin man with a nasally voice stated, looking Kihyun up and down and Kihyun scoffed, turning his attention to Mr Lee. Up close, Kihyun could see just how handsome he was.

“If I wanted money I wouldn’t have waited 6 hours to give this back to you.” Kihyun stated, holding out the wallet and thrusting it into Mr Lee’s hand.

“Careful with your money Mr Lee, someone else might just take undue advantage of it next time.” Kihyun cautioned, giving him a small smile before turning around and walking away. He walked back to the bench, picked up his pad and pencil and turned back towards the alley; another night of coldness awaiting him.

He was about to cross the road when he felt a hand tap his shoulder and he turned around, face to face with Mr Lee.

“Thank you. For returning it.”

Kihyun smiled, shrugging, “you’re welcome. My paper and pencil might not be as valuable as whatever is in your wallet, but I know if I lost it, I’d be devastated.”

“Oh, you’re an artist?” Mr Lee asked, looking down at the various sketches that lined Kihyun’s paper.

“Struggling artist, emphasis on the struggling.” Kihyun joked, indicating to his clothes and appearance. “So um, I really need to get back.”

“I can’t just let you go without thanking you somehow, not many would have returned my wallet back to me like that. And with every single thing inside it still intact.”

“Really, Mr Lee it’s fine. I didn’t do it to get rewarded.” Kihyun answered shrugging. He really needed to get back to his alley as soon as possible before some other person snagged up his couch.

“Maybe so, but I still can’t let you go without thanking you. Please, anything you need. Ask for it.”

Kihyun pondered his words, mouth turned into a frown. Anything he needed? A house, warm food and nice clothes. An education, a job. A chance to turn his life around and get off the streets. Kihyun needed a lot of things.

Looking up at Mr Lee, he smiled, “I do need a new drawing pad and pencils.”

*******

Kihyun woke to the sound of rain, thick pellets hitting his skin in rapid waves. He quickly got up, reaching for his new drawing pad and pencils before dashing under the awning of a nearby house. Mouth downturned, he looked down at his equipment, soggy to the brim, mimicking Kihyun’s own attire perfectly. True to his word, Mr Lee had gotten Kihyun the new drawing pad and pencils he asked for and had offered to buy Kihyun dinner too. It was the first hot meal he had in ages. The drawing pad itself was thick, thousands of free pages waiting for Kihyun to use. The pencils were also of high quality and Kihyun was grateful; so grateful he had almost cried. He could last long on making caricatures of rich passerbys with those pencils, at least until the winter. And now the chance of that was ruined, washed away with the rain.

Tossing the pad away bitterly, Kihyun held tight to the pencils, knees weak as he slouched down to the ground and waited for the sky to clear again. He hummed while he waited, eyes trailing after people as they rushed by; eager than usual to get to their destinations. Kihyun loved the rain, truly. He loved the effects it had on people; how some would bring out their umbrellas instantly, blocking the rain and keeping themselves dry their only concern. How others would rush by, the unsuspecting ones that had to make do with a newspaper to keep themselves dry. On occasion, there was the ones that would embrace the water, hands reaching up to the sky in glee and smiles wide on their faces as they played around in it. Those were mostly children; and Kihyun grinned as a wave of them came bursting out of their houses, screams radiating all around the alley as they ran and danced and played. A beautiful sight and Kihyun couldn’t draw.

He sat there until the rain cleared and a rainbow appeared, sun bursting through the cloudy sky.

The rain had done its job of soaking Kihyun to the brim and despite the sun’s gallant efforts, Kihyun felt himself shivering. The October wind blowing through his flimsy clothes. He’d had to find somewhere else to sleep tonight too, with the way his precious couch had taken a beaten from the rain.

Slowly rising, he trudged out of the alley, head spinning and spirit low. That couch, that alley was the nicest place he’d found to sleep in a while and without that, without the security and with the sun slowly going down, he was screwed.

“Mr Yoo.”

He paused, frowning as a familiar man stepped in front of him and held out a card. He observed him for a moment before it finally clicked; Hoseok’s driver.

“Yeah?” Kihyun replied, glancing around to see if Hoseok was present.

“Mr Lee would like to speak to you.”

“Um. Is he here?”

“He is waiting at a location we can go to now should you wish to come.” The man answered.

“What’s your name?”

“Alfred.”

“Right, well Alfred, do you know what Mr Lee wants?” Kihyun asked, mind racing. Yes, he had told Hoseok his name, but only his _first_ name. He didn’t remember ever telling Hoseok his last name.

“I was simply told to find you and bring you to him if you wish to come along.”

Kihyun paused, thinking for a moment. What could a powerful, rich man possibly want with him and why was Kihyun still in his mind after a week of them meeting? Just 2 days after meeting, Kihyun had seen him in the newspaper. His company, Lee Enterprise, was working on providing electricity to the rural parts of Africa and the money was going to personally come from Hoseok’s pockets.

“Okay, take me to him.” Kihyun decided. Alfred led him to the same black car he had seen Hoseok in the week before. Cautiously getting in, Kihyun gazed outside as Alfred drove away. The buildings eventually gave way to open space, noise and the usual bustle of the city left behind. Kihyun considered a little too late whether he had done the right thing in agreeing to go with Alfred. Sure, Hoseok seemed kind enough but the kindest of men could be the most dangerous. Kihyun may have been homeless, struggling and really fucking tired of life sometimes, but still. He didn’t want to die.

Alfred finally stopped, parking on the side of the road and getting out of the car to open the door for Kihyun. In the distance, a lone house stood. It was built like a cottage, white brick against a vibrant red roof. The windows were barred, completely sealed and giving no indication as to what was inside. Kihyun could be walking into a death trap for all he knew.

Still, he walked on, leaving Alfred waiting by the car. He knocked twice on the door, inhaling deeply as he waited for it to open.

The door swung open several moments later, Hoseok standing inside wearing a loose white shirt and tracksuits. He had glasses on and his hair packed up into the bun he was wearing when Kihyun first met him. He smiled, looked over Kihyun’s shoulder and ushered him in.

“You came.” He stated after securely locking the door.

“Yeah, curiosity got the best of me.”

Kihyun observed his surroundings, surprised at how empty the cottage was. The room he was currently in held a bed, two tables and chairs and a mini fridge placed to the side. Two counters were placed next to the fridge and a small bowl and water jug on top of them. Peculiarly however, two huge cupboards were placed near the bed. Kihyun couldn’t see what was inside, and he turned to Hoseok, eyebrows raised.

“Um, what is this place?” he asked.

“I like to come here to get away from it all. I own the majority of the land here and no one can build on it without my permission.”

“I see. Well, why am I here?”

“Please, sit.” Hoseok said, drawing out one of the chairs and Kihyun sat down. Hoseok sat opposite, staring at Kihyun for a few moments before finally speaking up.

“In my line of work, Kihyun, I can’t trust easily. People lying to me and befriending me to gain something is normal.”

“Okay?” Kihyun replied, eyebrows twisted in confusion.

Hoseok smiled, leaning forward. “And then you came. You saw my wallet filled with money and credit cards and you returned it to me. Without taking a single thing out. And you, you have the motive. No offence. You could have used that opportunity to make a better life for yourself, get yourself off the street. And then I told you I needed to thank you. And you could have then used that opportunity to ask me for anything. And you chose drawing pads and pencils. Why?”

“Has that question been weighing on your mind? Is that why I’m here?” Kihyun asked and Hoseok nodded slowly, eyes still scrutinising Kihyun as if trying to figure him out. Kihyun leaned back in his chair and shrugged.

“I’m homeless. I have been for a long time. And to be honest there have been times where I was tempted to steal or become a bad person to get by. But I have nothing, no roof over my head. I can barely eat. The money I do earn from caricatures is never enough. But Mr Lee, my integrity, I still have that. And I’m gonna hold on to that. My situation is bad, but it doesn’t mean I have to be.”

Hoseok smiled, grin wide as he regarded Kihyun.

“Perfect. I have a job for you.”

“What?”

“Listen, I’m not gonna lie to you. I had you trailed and I had you researched. I know all about you and your situation. And you did me a favour, you’re honest. And that’s hard to come by. So I want to help you. More than buying you pencils and paper.”

“What kind of job?”

“I have a new coffee shop opening soon. I can give you the manager position, and the flat above the shop. Your clothes, your education if you wish, I can pay for too.” Hoseok replied.

“Mr Lee, I can’t. I can’t just take that, being the manager – free house and clothes and education. It’s generous and kind of you to offer but I can’t.”

“So you want to live on the street forever?”

“Of course not. But to just _take_ all of this. It seems wrong. Like I’m taking a shortcut I don’t deserve.”

“After you start earning from the job, you can start paying rent. You can also pay me back for the clothes and pay back education fees in instalments. Does that make it better?”

“I’d still be getting the job for free.”

“Kihyun.”

“Mr Lee I’m not a charity case-”

“And I’m not trying to make you one. I’m simply attempting to help you, to make life better for you. Because you helped me and you didn’t have to. Because I see someone who doesn’t deserve their current situation and should have a better life. Please, Kihyun. Let me help. You’re only 24, you deserve better.”

“You found out my age too?”

“I had you meticulously researched.”

Kihyun pondered his words, mind swirling as Hoseok waited for him to speak up. A roof over his head, a security he hadn’t dreamt of since he was 13. Yes, he had his morals and yes he felt like if he agreed he’d be compromising that. But at the same time, he was tired. Tired of simply existing instead of _living_. Morals be damned, he wasn’t an idiot to refuse this chance.

“I’ll take the job. And everything that comes with it.”

*******

Kihyun grinned as he rolled over, head hitting a soft pillow. He slowly opened his eyes as sunshine poured through his room, bouncing off the walls and filling the room with welcomed heat. He got up, stretching a bit as he looked around _his_ room, still in disbelief that this was his, that a month ago he was wondering where he’d sleep for the night and now. He had a flat, a job, clothes and food. His room was tiny, with space for only his double bed, his dresser, a side table and a rug. The walls were a soft beige and Hoseok had installed a soft black carpet that covered the entire room. Next to it was his adjacent bathroom, toilet and shower clustered together. Outside his bedroom was his small living room, a colour scheme of red and black. The walls were a deep burgundy and the wood floors a deep black oak. He had 2 chairs placed in a row, a tiny TV on top of a black coffee table. The kitchen was directly beside it, completed with a fridge, a couple of counters and a stove. It was perfect.

Kihyun got out of bed, quickly getting showered and dressed before rushing downstairs. The shop would open at 12 and he had a lot to prepare. His two employees, a college boy named Hyungwon and a high school dropout named Jooheon would arrive at 11. Kihyun had specifically chosen them for the role, determined to give the job to people who he thought needed it the most.

He stopped short as he entered the shop floor, eyebrows raised. Hoseok was sat on one of the chairs, idly toying his phone and glancing outside. He looked up as Kihyun entered, grinning wildly and rushing forward. Kihyun had found out his age – at 26, he had singlehandedly revamped Lee enterprise after his father had died. Although young, he was respected and feared. And yet, as Kihyun found out over the last month. He was also incredibly playful and childlike, easily bored and easily entertained. Like a puppy.

“Don’t you have, you know. An empire to run?”

“I wanted a break. I was going to go fishing today at a private lake I own in the country side. I wanted you to come.”

“I have to work?”

“I’m your boss and I say take the day off. Call those employees of yours and let them know they can sleep in.”

“Mr Lee.”

“Hoseok. I’m only 2 years older than you.”

“Right, Hoseok. I can’t just leave.”

“You can and you will. Let’s go.”

Kihyun sighed, rushing back upstairs to grab his bag and put on his shoes.

“Alright, let’s go.”

There was no arguing with Hoseok once he wanted something. He usually got his way.

The car ride to the lake was silent, Hoseok leaning his head on his chair and falling asleep almost instantly. Kihyun was still thankful to him, to how he changed his life for the better. And even with their stark difference in status, Kihyun had begun to see him as a friend and hoped Hoseok thought the same thing.

Kihyun rested his head on the window, also closing his eyes as Alfred drove from the city.

“Sir. We have a problem.” Was the first thing Kihyun heard when he was startled awake. It was well into the afternoon as Alfred zoomed through the country side and Kihyun turned to Hoseok to see he was awake and alert.

“Lester’s men?” Hoseok replied and Alfred nodded.

“Okay. Cut through the grass and keep driving until you reach the intersection there. Park underneath that tree.” Hoseok instructed. Kihyun watched as he reached into his suit and produced;

“A gun?!” the words were out of Kihyun’s mouth before he could stop it and he gasped, instinctively shifting away from Hoseok. As if finally remembering Kihyun was there, Hoseok leaned forward, rubbing at his knee comfortingly.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you. I promise.”

“What’s going on?” Kihyun asked, head pounding as he risked looking back. Dozens of cars were hot on their heels and Kihyun gulped as a man emerged from the leading car. Gun dazzling as he aimed.

“Get down!” Hoseok screamed, tackling Kihyun and forcing him down as the man fired the bullet. Glass shards rained down and Kihyun screamed, hands shaking.

“Change of plan Alfred. Stop here.”

Alfred complied, immediately stepping on the grass and before Kihyun could blink, Hoseok had swung the door open, gun firing rapidly at the upcoming vehicles. Kihyun dared to stand up, watching as dozens of other cars screeched to a stop beside Hoseok and people filed out, standing beside him.

“Alfred?”

Alfred turned around, face betraying no emotion and mouth set in a thin line. “Stay low if you don’t want your head blown to bits.”

Kihyun watched enthralled as Hoseok charged forward, suit flapping in the wind. He seemed untouchable as he blazed through, pelting bullets into men after men. Kihyun gasped as a bullet grazed his arm, but Hoseok didn’t seem to notice. He finally reached the first car and he dived in, grabbing one of the men by the neck and smashing him to the ground. Using the butt of his gun, he smashed the man’s face repeatedly, blood flying onto his face as the bullets continued to rain around him.

Finally. After what seemed like an eternity. The bullets stopped. And Hoseok stood, walking back towards Kihyun. His suit was soaked with blood, the arm that the bullet grazed bleeding and dripping into the ground. Gun on one hand, he delivered a final blow at one of the men in his path, inhuman smile on his lips. He stepped back into the car, put the gun back in his pocket and turned to Kihyun.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He said.

Kihyun leaned forward and puked all over his shoes.

***

“Where am I?”

Kihyun sat up, head throbbing as he observed his surroundings. A huge lake was the first thing he spotted, and he looked down to see he was placed on top of a blanket, the moon had climbed up the sky and despite the chill, his body felt heated.

“At my lake house.”

Kihyun startled as he looked beside him to see Hoseok sitting a few paces away, head rested on a tree. A wave of sickness rushed him as he remembered the events of the afternoon. The guns, the fighting, and Hoseok right in the middle of it all. Ruthless as he killed men after men.

“You have a lot of questions I’m sure.”

“Damn right.” Kihyun replied, anger overtaking his body. “What the fuck happened?”

“Lee enterprise is just a cover up.”

“For what?”

“For what I actually am.”

“Which is.”

“I run an underground network filled with ruthless people with a thirst for blood. We deal with the transfer of illegal drugs mostly, but if needed by some of the sleazy politicians of this city. We can and will kill. I run the Manhattan underworld.”

“You’re kidding. You’re what? A mob boss.”

“You saw what happened for yourself. It’s not a joke. I had to take on the responsibility when I was 22 after my father died on the job.”

“You were ruthless this afternoon.”

“I was. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m kind when I have to be. My true nature is what you saw this afternoon. I’m cruel and I kill without thought and because I can. I take because I can, I’m responsible for a lot of the drug problems we have in the city. I’ve killed innocents, I’ve hurt a lot of people. And I don’t care that I have.”

“Where do I come into this?”

Hoseok smiled, shrugging slightly.

“I dropped my wallet and you returned it to me. With everything intact. You didn’t seem to know who I was either. I found that fishy so of course I had you researched. But you came out clean. You weren’t sent by Lester or any of my other enemies. You were simply being yourself and being truthful. It was the first time someone helped me without expecting anything in return. I wanted to repay the favour. I never wanted you to find out.”

“I want to leave. Keep your job and your flat and whatever else. I’ll go back to living on the streets.”

“You can’t.”

Kihyun’s heart hammered in his chest and he edged backwards, suddenly aware he was sitting close to a man, who seconds ago had killed with no remorse. Kihyun had seen him for what he was.

“I won’t tell a soul.” He said, hands folding in a plea before he could stop himself.

Hoseok smirked. “If I wanted to kill you Kihyun, I’d have done it in the car and gotten it over and done with. I trust you won’t say anything, but that’s not why you can’t leave.”

Kihyun looked down, eyes darting side to side as he thought of Hoseok’s words. He was right, Kihyun would be dead by now if Hoseok wanted to kill him.

“Lester’s men. They saw me.”

Hoseok’s eyes lit up, as if proud of Kihyun for figuring it out. “Yes, and one managed to escape. The one and only other person that is ever with me 24/7 is Alfred. And yet, there you were, sitting with me on our way to my lake house.”

“They’d probably try to use me. To get to you.” Kihyun stated.

“Precisely. And while, no offence, I don’t care about whether you live or die. I’m sure you do. You’re stuck with me.”

Kihyun looked up, stared at Hoseok’s emotionless eyes and hatred filled his body.

“I hate you.”

Scoffing, Hoseok stood up, “get in line.”

He walked away.

***

Kihyun could hear the snickering as he trailed after Hoseok.

“The boss’ bitch.” Were also some of the words he heard as he kept his head high and walked on. He was dressed in black ripped jeans and a black hoodie, along with black trainers. His hair was slicked back and he held a clipboard in hand, dictating Hoseok’s words.

From coffee shop manager, he had become Hoseok’s PA, the only person Hoseok trusted with his finances and his secrets. In under 2 weeks he had climbed over Alfred, and became “the boss’ bitch.”

He cursed his fate, cursed his stupid decision to be moral and return the stupid wallet. Most of all he cursed Hoseok, Hoseok with his deceiving good looks and dazzling smile. The man who gave electricity to Africa and in the same breath put a bullet into another man’s head for not paying his electricity bills on time.

Today, he had taken Kihyun to his toy warehouse, where thousands of drugs were stored underground. He walked with an air of dignity as workers stopped their jobs to acknowledge him as he passed by. They scrutinised Kihyun, barely holding in their smirks and comments and nudges as he walked by.

“Did you get all that?” Hoseok asked and Kihyun looked down at the clipboard he was holding.

“Yes, sir.” He answered, keeping his voice low. Hoseok raised an eyebrow, turned on his heels and stalked out of the warehouse. Kihyun followed. He had no choice.

Alfred was waiting outside by the car and he opened the door to let them in, sending a small smile Kihyun’s way. Alfred pitied him and Kihyun hated that.

“Here.”

Kihyun looked down at the rectangle shaped present Hoseok was holding, red wrapping with a white bow on top.

“What’s this for?”

“Your birthday. It’s today. November 22.”

Kihyun had forgotten, only thing on his mind was surviving and getting through day after day.

“I didn’t even remember.” He replied, taking the gift and opening it. Despite himself, a smile flickered to his lips as he looked down at the drawing pad and pencils Hoseok had gotten for him. He looked at Hoseok to find him smiling at him, eyes soft. Maybe the most genuine smile he’d gotten from Hoseok in weeks.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t want to take your art away from you. I’ve already taken everything else.”

Kihyun turned away, set the supplies on the seat and looked outside.

***

Kihyun sat by the window of his flat, watching the snow fall outside. It was almost Christmas and he looked at the pathetic tree he’d put up. Jooheon and Hyungwon had gone home to spend time with their families and Hoseok had disappeared. Not contacting Kihyun for weeks. He supposed he should have been thankful, yet all he could feel was nerves and anxiety interchanging the more Hoseok didn’t contact him.

He could be dead, rotting into a pool of his own blood and Kihyun wouldn’t know.

Did Kihyun want to know?

He was pulled out of his thoughts with frantic knocking on the door and he quickly rushed to open it.

“Kihyun.”

Hoseok stood outside, usual suit replaced with a thick coat and skinny jeans, paired with boots. He had cut his hair, his usual bun gone.

“Hoseok?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure?”

Kihyun stepped outside, nervously playing with his thumbs as Hoseok took a seat.

“You’ve broken me.” Hoseok said after a moments silence passed.

“What?”

“The one and only rule I have for myself? Not to let my heart go, to anyone or anything. And then you came, and now.”

“Now?”

“My heart is yours.”

Kihyun stepped back, as if he’d been hit, eyes turning into slits. What was Hoseok playing at?

“You don’t believe me.”

“Put yourself in my situation. After everything, why should I believe you?”

“You’re right. And I don’t expect you to like me back. You’ve seen me for who I am and you hate it. We are worlds apart. But I had to let you know.”

“So what now?”

“Now. I let you go. You don’t have to ever see me again, nor be my PA. As for Lester, or anyone else. I’ll make sure they don’t get to you. Keep the flat and the shop. Live a good life.”

“Oh because you supposedly like me, I get to be off the hook? And everyone else you’re forcing to work for you?”

“You’re the only exception. The rest has to continue.”

“How selfish.”

“That’s who I am.”

He stood up, touched Kihyun’s cheek briefly before yanking the door open and walking out. Kihyun slammed the door behind him.

***

Kihyun paced in his living room as he waited. His eyes darted to the door every second and he almost screamed, let out the frustration he was feeling. Hoseok was hurt, as Alfred had just informed him. Alfred would drive him to Kihyun’s apartment, the last place any of his enemies would think to come. And Kihyun cared. He was worried, worried about how badly Hoseok seemed to be hurt. He hated that he was worried, or that he couldn’t sit still as he waited for Hoseok.

A frantic knocking brought him out of his revere and he rushed to open it revealing Alfred holding on to a bleeding Hoseok. He took Hoseok from Alfred, swinging his arms over his shoulder and guiding him to the couch.

“His doctor should be here in 10. I’ll be outside. I must call in backup just in case.” Alfred informed, stepping outside. Kihyun looked down at Hoseok’s head on his lap; his face was turning paler by the minute and he could barely hide that he was in a lot of pain. His eyes flickered open to gaze into Kihyun’s and Kihyun reached forward, brushing his hair from his ears. It’d been 3 months since he last saw Hoseok and he had to admit, he missed him. More than he wanted to.

“This is the one time you can’t be selfish okay, Hoseok? Stay with me.”

Hoseok smiled weakly, “What, you like me too?”

“Unfortunately I’m getting there.”

Hoseok scoffed, “How romantic.”

Hoseok’s doctor arrived some time later and Kihyun excused himself to the next room, anxiously waiting on the verdict. Finally, after what seemed like ages, he heard the front door close and Kihyun walked back to the living room to see Hoseok sat down, bandaged up and looking miles better.

“Is it bad?” Kihyun asked, sitting next to him.

“It was mostly the shock more than anything.”

“You sure?”

“I’ll survive. I’d rather talk about what you said earlier. Something about ‘getting there?’”

“You left me for 3 months and I thought about you every day.”

Hoseok turned to him, grabbing his hands. “I’m selfish and I’m cruel. It’s who I am and it’s who I’m always going to be. I can’t, I can’t change. Not even for you. I can’t leave this life behind. I don’t want to.”

Kihyun thought about his words, deep inside he knew that would be his reply. The life of crime was all Hoseok knew and he could never leave it. He was in deep and he enjoyed it.

“I guess I’ll just have to adapt.” He replied.

***

“Show me how much I mean to you.”

Kihyun leaned on the door of his living room, breath coming in gasps as Hoseok kissed his torso, licking from his belly button to his left nipple. The July heat simmered into the room, hot air blowing through the open window. Hoseok had opened it, claiming he wanted the world and Kihyun’s customers to hear him scream.

“How much you mean to me?” he repeated, grasping roughly at Kihyun’s hair as he sucked long and hard on his nipple. He worked his way to Kihyun’s neck next, tugging at his earlobe with his teeth.

“On your knees, face the door.” He commanded and Kihyun dropped instantly, face welcoming the coolness of the door. Hoseok reached over, grabbing both his arms and twisting them behind his back.

“You want me to fuck you and show you that I love you?” he whispered, using his free hand to trace a line down Kihyun’s back. Stopping just an inch from Kihyun’s ass.

“Fuck please, yes Hoseok.”

“Say it.”

“Fuck me and show me that you love me.”

A loud moan erupted from his mouth as Hoseok moved, cock sliding into Kihyun’s ass in an instant. Hot tears welled up in Kihyun’s eyes, as he struggled to adjust. It was his idea, to fuck for the first time without a condom or lube and despite the pain he found himself screaming as pleasure overcame him.

“I feel good?” Hoseok muttered letting go of Kihyun’s hands and pulling his hair once more, fingernails digging into his scalp. He moved slowly, taking his time and loving the way Kihyun attempted to ride against him, faster.

“Tell me I feel good and I’ll move faster.”

“You feel good. You feel so fucking good.”

Hoseok grinned, beads of sweat trickling down his neck as he moved faster. His breathing came out quick and ragged, sight of Kihyun grasping at the door and yelling his name sending a wave of arousal through his body. He leaned forward, grabbing at Kihyun’s neck and forcing him to shift until he could lean down and kiss him, tongue skimming over Kihyun’s.

“Fuck, Hoseok.” Kihyun gasped, body banging against the door.

“Wanna fuck you by the window. Show the whole world.” Hoseok stated, lifting Kihyun effortlessly and carrying him to the window. He dropped to his knees, taking Kihyun’s cock in his mouth. Kihyun leaned over, grabbing Hoseok’s hair to keep him in place, before moving quickly, dick fucking Hoseok’s mouth. Hoseok grabbed his own dick, pumping quickly and feeling lightheaded as Kihyun continued, incoherent noises erupting from his throat.

Finally he stopped, turned around and held on to the window, ass titled to give Hoseok an opening. Hoseok stood up, slamming his dick into his ass once more, unable to stop his own grunts.

“God I love you. So much.” He could hear Kihyun say, or so he thought he heard Kihyun say as his blood pounded in his ears. He reached over and tugged at Kihyun’s cock, desperate to feel him in every way and he smiled in satisfaction as Kihyun’s scream reached a higher octave.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Kihyun repeated, like a mantra as his scream blended with Hoseok’s.

“You like me fucking you? Fucking you for strangers to see and hear?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

“Wanna cum?” Hoseok asked, hands mirroring his hips as he moved faster.

“Please.”

“Not until I say so.” He replied, hooking one leg on the window sill and grabbing Kihyun’s waist for balance. He moved slow and deliberate, hitting the spots he knew would make Kihyun go crazy.

“Fuck. Please.” Kihyun pleaded, head rolling back as his legs started to give out.

“Do you love me?” Hoseok asked.

“Yes.” Kihyun replied instantly and Hoseok reached over, pressing sloppy wet kisses onto his neck.

“Cum.”

Kihyun did, Hoseok’s name exploding out of his mouth and fingernails digging into Hoseok’s thigh. Hoseok came right after and stepped back, turning Kihyun around to press a kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, for choosing me.” He stated.

***

**P R E S E N T**

Kihyun woke up to see Hoseok peering down at him. They were back at Hoseok’s lake house, and the sun had gone down, replaced by twinkling stars and the moon.

“I have to go.” Hoseok said, eyes looking guilty.

“Where?”

“Someone’s hijacked one of my trucks. My men’s tracked them down to a warehouse in upper east.” Hoseok offered as an explanation. Kihyun nodded.

“I’ll take a walk or something, to clear my head.” Kihyun answered, pressing a small kiss to Hoseok’s hand before getting out of the car.

Hoseok watched him go, regret filling him up as the car pulled away. But he had other things to do. His shipment was private, something only those close to him knew about. He had a mole in his midst and he needed to find out who. But first, he had to get his shipment back.

“We may be walking directly into a trap you know.” Alfred said from the front seat, glancing at Hoseok briefly.

“I don’t care. That shipment’s too priceless I can’t let it go. Speed up.” Hoseok answered. Alfred complied, and Hoseok gazed out the window, thoughts of Kihyun still on his mind. His precious Kihyun who didn’t deserve being constantly targeted because of him. Who didn’t deserve to be punched or kicked or hurt and bruised because of him. He should have been in college, getting his art degree and living a normal life. And instead, because of him, Kihyun was constantly living on edge- and through it all, still choosing to be with him. To love him.

Hoseok smiled, reaching into his pocket to produce the velvet box that held Kihyun’s ring. Once he took care of this problem, he’d propose to Kihyun. They’d have a good life and even if Kihyun wanted, Hoseok would give up the life of crime. Anything Kihyun wanted.

“We’re here, sir.” Alfred informed after a few hours. Checking his guns still had bullets, Hoseok stepped outside. The warehouse was remote as Hoseok expected, door sealed shut. His men were waiting for him and he walked in the middle, gun ready. Giving his men the all clear, he waited as they burst the door open. He walked in, smirking slightly as a bunch of heavily armed guards lined up to meet him, mask pulled over their faces.

“You have what’s mine.” Hoseok spoke, mouth set in a thin line.

“Take it up with the boss.” One of the guards replied. They parted way and Hoseok frowned as he walked on, alert for any sudden movements. There was a single chair placed in the middle of the room and a single light dangled down dangerously. As he stepped closer to the boss, his heart hammered, head spinning and mouth drying.

There, sitting on the chair, sadistic smile on his face.

Was Kihyun.

“Welcome babe.” Kihyun spoke, rising up and swinging his gun side to side.

“You’re the mole.”

“How’d you like my acting?” Kihyun asked, grin still plastered on to his face. Hoseok felt his knees go weak, hands shaking as Kihyun laughed.

“2 years. And all this time, you were pretending to love me.” Hoseok stated and Kihyun shrugged.

“No hard feelings?”

“Why?”

“Your father killed my mother and my sister. Then he finished the job with my father. You should know as well as anyone that family means everything.”

“So what, fucking me over will bring back your family?”

“No. But stealing such a great shipment right under your nose does make me happy. Oh and the drugs you lost last summer. Also me. That deal with Mr Jameson that you so desperately wanted but couldn’t get? I got there first.”

“Every single fucking thing that’s been going wrong. You were behind. I trusted you” Hoseok said.

“Your mistake.” Kihyun answered with a shrug.

“Getting kidnapped today, it was a distraction. I’d focus on you and you could steal from me easily.”

“And you love playing hero so I knew you’d come.”

“Because I love you. Not to play fucking ‘hero’ Kihyun. I came to you because I love you.” Hoseok smiled, laugh tumbling out of his lips. “You played yourself didn’t you? You love me too. In those 2 years, you started to love me too. That’s why you’re revealing yourself now. To get away from me before you can’t leave.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I have a bunch of cocaine getting transported over next week that I told you about. It’s my biggest job yet and it’s gonna get me millions. If you really wanted an ultimate revenge, that’s what you should have hijacked. But you must have realised you loved me too and now you’re trying to get away from me as quickly as possible.”

“Are you really this desperate?”

“I am. I think I fucking am because if you tell me now, that you love me. I’ll forget everything. I’ll take you back. I don’t want an apology I don’t want anything else. Just please, admit you love me.” Hoseok pleaded, moving forward slowly.

“Don’t come closer.” Kihyun said and Hoseok saw a flash of regret in his eyes as he levelled his gun.

“Please Kihyun.” Hoseok tried again, dropping his gun to his feet.

“You’re really that stupid? You think I won’t shoot?” Kihyun said, rolling his eyes. Though Hoseok saw, he still saw that regret in his eyes. If he could just touch him, remind him that it was _him_. It was Hoseok for fucks sake.

“It doesn’t have to end like this. I don’t believe this is you.” Hoseok tried again. He was there, close to Kihyun- he could almost touch him. Make Kihyun remember, remember his love.

Kihyun’s eyes glazed over, eyebrows knitted in confusion. He looked up, smiled and pulled the trigger.

“Believe it.”

The warehouse echoed as the sound of the bullet bounced off the walls. Hoseok watched Kihyun walk away, taking his heart with him as Hoseok’s blood dripped on to the floor.

The last time Hoseok fell, Kihyun was there to catch him.

This time. He hit the concrete.

**Author's Note:**

> top 10 anime betrayals
> 
> come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wdymkiho)<3


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